Good Riddance/Time Of Your Life

This is the perfect graduation song. It has two titles, as you can see. They both can be related to the concept of graduation. Are we excited to go and get rid of this life? Or was is an exceptional experience that we never want to forget? I personally feel that it’s a little of both. 🙂

Advertisements

Senior English Reflection

This is the reflection we were given in class today, and I felt better about typing it up rather than writing everything out. This is mostly because when I answer things like this, I tend to over write and then my hand begins to cramp and it’s just a mess, really. I’ll go through each question, one by one.

 

1. A meaningful text I encountered during the year was The Bell Jar, as well as Othello, for different reasons, of course. The Bell Jar was full of emotion and provoked a lot of deeper level thinking as to what the characters were thinking, and why they behaved the way they did. Othello was interesting because I had never read one of Shakespeare’s longer works, and though it was a confusing piece, it made sense in the way that we read it as a class. It definitely made me feel more comfortable going into the AP test with the confidence that I could understand that particular type of literature.

2. I have learned to become more self-reliant for a number of reasons this year. I experienced a lot of change this year, and I definitely changed who I am as an individual. I learned to depend on myself a lot more, in the areas of school with accountability, as well as depending on myself for my own happiness. I have grown up immensely this last year, and I know that without this year of high school I wouldn’t feel as ready as I do to go off to college.

3. If I could do anything differently senior year, I would change my work ethic second semester. I earned a 4.0 first semester because I worked hard for it. Second semester I relaxed a little bit and didn’t think I needed to work as hard once I was accepted to UW. Consequently, I had to backpedal quite a bit to compensate for the laziness that I exemplified.

4. Senior English should contain lots of reading. Being exposed to different types of literature made me learn more overall, and I gained interest into literature that I never would have expected myself to enjoy.

 

 

Ms. Allyn, I want you to know…

Having you as my teacher for the last two years has been so enjoyable. I feel like I have learned many vital skills from you in the areas of reading and especially writing. I have gained confidence in these areas, and feel ready for whatever challenges college may bring. Thank you for getting to know me as a student, as well as a friend. I will miss chatting with you every day, whether its about literature or writing during English class, or simply exchanging life stories during focus. I will miss you next year! (And hope you get the chance to read this at some point). 🙂 

With Every Goodbye You Learn

This beautiful poem has helped me through a lot lately. So if you’re struggling right now, feel like nothing is going right, or maybe you just enjoy poetry, please read. ❤ 

 

After a While

After a while you learn

The subtle difference between

Holding a hand and chaining a soul

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning

And company doesn’t always mean security.

 

And you begin to learn

That kisses aren’t contracts

And presents aren’t promises

And you begin to accept your defeats

With your head up and your eyes ahead

With the grace of a woman

Not the grief of a child

 

And you learn

To build all your roads on today

Because tomorrow’s ground is

Too uncertain for plans

And futures have a way

Of falling down in mid flight

 

After a while you learn

That even sunshine burns if you get too much

So you plant your own garden

And decorate your own soul

Instead of waiting

For someone to bring you flowers

 

And you learn

That you really can endure

That you are really strong

And you really do have worth

And you learn and you learn

With every good bye you learn.

 

Veronica A. Shoffstall

 

i carry your heart, my darling.

 

Today in English, we read numerous poems, this being one of them. The emotions evoked from this were nothing like I ever imagined poetry could make me feel. New favorite poem, by far. Please read! ❤ it’s quite worth it. No explanation necessary. 

[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]

BY E. E. CUMMINGS

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                                                      i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

The Swans At Coole (Poetry Analysis)

Yesterday during English class, we participated in a class discussion about a poem entitled The Swans At Coole. This discussion was pre-selected, and our discussion had a slight twist-we were being videotaped for Ms. Allyn’s national board compilation video. Being on camera during a discussion created a different environment that was slightly intimidating at first, but I was proud of the group of students who participated and contributed insightful comments to our conversation.
I included the poem in this post if anyone is interested in reading, and below I will include my brief analysis. Enjoy!
 
The trees are in their autumn beauty,   
The woodland paths are dry,
Under the October twilight the water   
Mirrors a still sky;
Upon the brimming water among the stones   
Are nine-and-fifty swans.

The nineteenth autumn has come upon me   
Since I first made my count;
I saw, before I had well finished,
All suddenly mount
And scatter wheeling in great broken rings   
Upon their clamorous wings.

I have looked upon those brilliant creatures,   
And now my heart is sore.
All’s changed since I, hearing at twilight,   
The first time on this shore,
The bell-beat of their wings above my head,   
Trod with a lighter tread.

Unwearied still, lover by lover,
They paddle in the cold
Companionable streams or climb the air;   
Their hearts have not grown old;
Passion or conquest, wander where they will,   
Attend upon them still.

But now they drift on the still water,   
Mysterious, beautiful;   
Among what rushes will they build,
By what lake’s edge or pool
Delight men’s eyes when I awake some day   
To find they have flown away?
 
This poem makes me think of a place that is familiar to the author. Yates feels welcomed and at peace when he visits the swans in this environment. The poem is about his first visit back to Coole’s in nineteen years, and he describes the emotions he experiences during his trip. To me, it sounds as though Yates has grown older and experienced much in the past nineteen years. He observes how the swans are never changing, and how extraordinary it is that so much can be different in his life in that span of time, and how it is the complete opposite with the swans. I see this environment as one that makes him feel comfortable. He knows that no matter what occurs in his life, he can return to this spot and feel the same feelings, and take him back to being at ease.

Gasping For Breath

Is there anybody else who feels like they are buried under the stress of the remainder of our year?

Just me? I certainly hope not.

This year is carrying on and teachers continue to pile more and more work upon us all. Though I appreciate the learning they would like us to do, it’s crazy to me how much there is to do in a matter of two more measly months. I don’t think we deserve to kick back and relax just yet, but I would love to have time for a little breather. 

With: Homework, Senior project finalization, an online class final to take, more homework, my job, dance class, UW dance auditions, more and more and more homework, there’s no time for breathing and sometimes I feel like curling up in my bed and crying but then I remember I have no time to curl up in my bed because I never sleep anyway.

I need my mental health checked. Maybe. 

But in all actuality, I know that when graduation comes, I am taking a week long hibernation period afterwards to regenerate all the energy we are losing in this last part of senior year.

Here’s some motivation I found on pinterest.

what a great reminder.  it has taken me many adult years to realize this and to now practice it.

Resist Quitting

Unexpected Feeling

I walked into English today to see a guest speaker in place of Ms. Allyn. I had forgotten that we were receiving a poetry lesson right when we returned from break and I initially reacted with much disappointment. Poetry makes me uncomfortable because at times I don’t understand it, and when I don’t understand it I just want to scream and cry and pull my hair out. I wish I were able to understand challenging material the first time around, and when I don’t I feel like giving up. (This is terrible, I know.)

So today after we listened for a little and heard some examples of poetry, we were asked to give it a go for ourselves. I am not much of a poet so I didn’t really like this exercise whatsoever. However, when we were simply instructed to write our memories, or some feelings we could recollect from these particular experiences, I didn’t feel so terrible after all. I surprisingly was able to write from the heart and pull some meaningful words out and string them together into what is supposedly a poem.

I don’t feel the most comfortable sharing aloud with the class, so I’ve decided to write them in my blog. Hopefully no one finds these too weird or emotional, but I honestly wrote my true feelings, which was an amazing feeling, because in poetry there never seems to be a wrong answer. I was pleasantly surprised by today’s lesson. 🙂

 

#1.

I remember when we said goodbye. It was a cloudy, cool, Sunday morning.

I remember your attire. The singular hooded sweatshirt you had yet to pack away with the rest of your things.

I remember the large gold “W” embroidered on the front, a saddening reminder that you were going away.

I remember boxes, meticulously placed in the back of the car, waiting to be carried to your new “home.”

 

I remember your smile. 

You reassured me that we would be together again soon, (a lie that you yourself found difficult to swallow).

I remember the time.

I remember 9:17 AM.

You looked into my eyes, but your sadness and longing for one more day melted my heart.

 

I remember our walk out the door, across the porch, down the driveway. 

I remember the final moments. These were the ones we always dreaded.

I trembled. I forced a smile.

I remember that smile erupting into tears.

I remember your sudden embrace. Even through its sincerity and comfort, it wasn’t enough to ease the pain.

Do you remember how we thought this day would never come?

 

#2

With you in bloodlines, but my persona and my spirit you have crushed.

You always will support me, or so you say. But in times of my affairs, you must always have the final words.

Your mother is supposed to be your best friend. Fend for you, mend you, and be there until the end.

But I’m searching for someone who doesn’t care to be found.

I miss you. 

My life’s decisions do not pertain to your wishes.

But instead of becoming who fishes for your affections,

I’d rather maintain my sense of self.